She recently wrote that she will not support any Democratic men that have profited from misogyny.

I’m taking it a step further. I will not vote for any Democratic candidate who has used, condoned, or ignored misogyny used as a campaign tactic.

So I am not voting for Jim McDermott for congress critter this time around. But the only other option is a Rethuglican.

So quick kids- who should I write in. I prefer a woman, though I am more than happy to give a shout out to feminist friendly dudes.

I go vote at 5pm. You got until 4:55 to come up with the best suggestion.

OuyangDan: does richard simmons really still love me?

me: yes, yes he soes
does

OuyangDan: oh good

me: just so you know

OuyangDan: maybe richard simmons is really The Christ
lolz

me: could be. Have you seen an image of the Richard show up in your toast?

OuyangDan: no…but there was a fatty swirl of grease from last night’s pot roast that was a strange resemblence

me: there ya go. You need to start saying “Our Richard, Who are in hot pants, hallowed be thy name”

OuyangDan: thy thighs crush evil from the heads of demons

me: Yay though I may walk through the valley of chubbie I shall not fear fat

OuyangDan: for thine sweatin’ to the oldies are w/ me

me: and thine calorie counters are ever present

OuyangDan: 😛 but nay will they judge me

me: For I am the Simmons and the Power and The Sweaty!

OuyangDan: forever and ever, amen

me: nooooo Forever and ever Raamen!

OuyangDan: Doh! I figured that was FSM specific and carbohydratically offensive to our simmons deity

Ruth, me and the Puppy are all sitting on the couch last night

Puppy (who I tease mercilessly for being a dork): I think I finally figured something out about you.

Me: What?

Puppy: All this freedom and choice stuff you talk about is just a cover. Really you want to rule the world and you think you could do it better than everyone else. That’s why you were a cheerleader and you need to be the boss.

Ruth: I totally see that!

Me: What! No! This isn’t fair! Besides I would make a damn fine benevolent dictator.

Ruth: You’d make a better benevolent dictator than just about anyone, but what he said is still true.

Later that evening…..

Puppy: See everyone thinks that they would make the best leader.

Me: But I actually would. People would have way more fun AND work would still get done.

Puppy: Everyone says that.

Me: Did you have fun this weekend?

Puppy: Yes

Me: Did we get a whole lot of shit done? (note we moved a 300 pound TV between the two of us)

Puppy: Yes

Me: Point proven

Puppy: I can see Alaska from my house!

Since the Puppy has insinuated that I have the same level of qualifications as Sarah Palin to run the country (in my case, the world- I’m ambitious) I think I am going to break down the multitude of ways that coordinating this move qualifies me to be the benevolent dictator of the world.

1) The first step in world domination is land acquisition. I have certainly moved up from my little townhouse in the ghetto to the ginormous. This move required diplomatic relations with Ruth and Bernard, first in negotiating my exile from the ghetto into their bedroom. From there we needed to acquire a space big enough for real conquering to take place without any unwanted border crossings (bedroom doors that close go along way in border protection people!)

2) Money- no government can function without it. I think I did pretty well at rallying the loyal readers to raise the money for land acquisition (I/e new house fund)

3) Coordinate the invasion- well i could have been better at raising troops, but I did end up making diplomatic promises to one friend to help her move out of her 3rd story apartment in July. I also did as most leaders do and over taxed the army (i/e the Puppy) with promises of a GIANT Bonus if he played muscle man. I did in fact follow through on the bonus payment, I think that makes me better than many former presidents who promised things to the military. I also promised the youth his own WOW subscription if he helped all weekend without whining.

4) Make moving speeches: I have been doing my damnedest to make sure everyone knows just how grateful i am for all the help.

5) Delegate: See getting the Puppy to do things like move Bernard’s bowflex machine up 3 flights of stairs.

So that’s just the moving stuff. Additionally I’ve been to more countries than Sarah Palin. I’ve gotten to Level 12 on Know your World (Even McCain thinks we’re still in a world where Czechoslovakia is a country). I’ve actually studied International Relations, Political Economy, macro Economics and history enough to know that current plans for saving the economy are crap.

And most importantly- I would only be ruler of the world if a majority of the world voted for me to take office. I guess that kinda does in the dictator part, but wevs.

Because Ruth and Bernard have been so awesome to me, and because they both have midterms on Monday (and Bernard is just getting over pneumonia) I told them I would move everything.

Well, almost everything anyways.

And I am fucking tired y’all. Though the Puppy, the big, gorgeous, muscley Puppy, did come over and do a lot of the heavy lifting last night. (OMG- after years of dating eggheads with giant brains who lift nothing heavier than a laptop- can I tell you how sexy it is to see a guy just pick up an entire heavy dresser by himself and carry it upstairs. HOTNESS!) And the Puppy is coming over tonight to help move some more (and to make me french toast for breakfast tomorrow- yum!)

But in the mean time I have mountains of books to move, a headache, and there are unmentionable parts of my body that are sore.

So consider this an open thread- wanna bitch, blogwhore or just babble at me- have at it.

It’s a very surreal position I am in right now.

For the first time since FDR, someone in my family isn’t voting for the Democrat. And that someone is me. Four years ago, I couldn’t even imagine it. 8 years ago, I was screaming at Nader voters for their betrayal.

But I can’t vote for Obama. The sexism was/is too much. The kowtowing to Republican beliefs is too much. The horrendous economic policies are too much. I wonder if I was in a swing state like dear Wonder and family, if I could hold as fast to my beliefs. But I am luckily in a dark blue state, so I am not faced with that dilemma.

But I do have hope. For two reasons.

First, regardless of what happens on next Tuesday, the long Bush nightmare is over. No more Commander Chimpy. No more Darth Cheney. No more Mad Cowboy Disease. No more of this horrible dystopia. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief on that one.

Second, I have hope not because of Obama, but because of the people he has inspired. The poly sci idealist in me gets teared up at the sheer number of people who are involved in the goings on of their government right now. (Granted a good number of those people are like my asshole stalker, but not all). This is what democracy is supposed to look like. People being involved in the decisions made at the top. People caring enough to do the hard work that democracy requires. It is not enough to vote.

Political science is the study of how people distribute power. Democracy is supposed to be the mass diffusion of this power to the people, so they can have power over their own lives. As a feminist, seeing people step up and accept that power makes me giddy. It’s a big responsibility, and sometimes it’s soooo much easier to let someone else do the hard work.

So come what may, I will celebrate next Tuesday. I spent about an hour and a half arguing with the Puppy last night (it’s foreplay for me, people) while he tried one more time to “sell me on Obama”. That ship has done sailed. But Tuesday night is all about an end to the horrors of Bush and a moment when the American people have accepted their responsibility for guiding their own lives.

That is worth at least a couple of vodka tonics, maybe even some champagne.

I dare you to come up with something scarier than the Kid’s costume this year. I really don’t think you can, his idea was just that terrifyingly good.

Can you guess what might be the scariest costume of 2008?

Sarah Palin in a bikini with a gun- NOPE

McCain making air quotes around everything- NOPE

A Diebold voting machine- NOPE.

My brilliant child (proving that apples don’t fall far) is dressed up as a Wall Street Banker today. His hair is slicked back all American Psycho style, he has fake money bulging out of his suit pockets.

Yeah- see if you can beat that.

Who doesn’t know her Clash. This is a public service announcement- WITH GUITAR!

So 10k to not have sex. And there are no takers. This should definitively prove that there is nooooooooo form of abstinence education that actually works. I mean the federal government can’t even give away enough money to make people not have sex.

I think it would be better to say, I dunno, put that money into bringing down the fucking outrageous cost of birth control.

But what do I know, I’m a slutty girl with a lady brain.

Sent to me by Ouyandan, who is evilly delicious (or deliciously evil- you pick)

It’s funny cause it’s true

I picked up my birth control prescription today (Nuva ring if you’re wondering. I love my Nuva Ring. They will have to pry it from my cold dead hands if they want to take it away).

Used to be about $30 a month. I got 3 months worth.

For $190

Seriously.

That’s more than double.