So I have had this crush on this person for ever, but for professional reasons I have never acted on them.

So a few days ago this person gave me something that I thought was for a project. I worked on it for a bit and then found I that they just gave it to me for whatever reasons.

Anyways, I went to a Halloween party tonight with the Naughty Proff (who also used to work in crush’s profession) and while he and I and our friend Julie were all curled up in a cuddly ball- I asked them about this.

The consensus was:

As my friends “He totally wants to jump your bones”

As professionals “Not really a professional move on his part- but still….”

Maybe I just need a little bit of a distraction from all the work I’m doing right now, but it’s nice to have these little silly crushy moments sometimes. And it’s way more fulfilling than having naughty dreams about threesomes with Stephen Colbert and John Stewart.

Cause it’s my (our) blog, my (our) discretion.

If you’re racist, sexist, assholish, repetitive, annoying or even just plain boring – I reserve the right to edit your comments and replace them with the Barney song

I love you
You love Me
We’re a happy family

Or maybe I’m a little teacup. It’s a mood thing really. Also possible are such nursery hits like The Ensy Weensy Spider or Humpty Dumpty.

I also may turn really awful comments into a blogpost to be made fun of and mocked accordingly. If you don’t like these policies you are free to write your own blog and you are free to write on your own blog how mean and horrible I am and how you’re just a poor misunderstood asswipe. But not here.

Everytime I’m on the phone with my Aunt, some crazy always starts screaming in the background and she tries to convince me that the city is dangerous and I should move out to the boondocks.

But I’m urban, at the very least the crazies can sometimes be entertaining- like today.

Imagine Donald Duck’s voice trapped in the body of middle aged black man. Then imagine that man is possessed by the devil. In between screaming in what can only be ancient Aramaic, he’s hitting up everyone in 100 yard radius of the bus stop for “a quarter, a cigarette?” Then he goes back to screaming. He keeps getting closer and closer to me and an old woman who has decided that since I’m taller, she’s going to hide from him behind me. Finally the bus shows up.

The crazy man gets on the bus despite having no money for the fair, but his voice is so freaky that the bus driver just lets him go. The man sits at the front of the bus and manages to clear out all of the seats on both sides of the bus near him with his continued crazy rantings. He picks up the sports section of a newspaper someone left behind and in the demonic Donald Duck voice reads the paper out loud for the entire bus to here. When he is done with the sports section, he starts singing in the demonic voice. Eventually he gets off and one of those rare moments happens when a group of random strangers breathes a sigh of relief and starts cracking jokes with each other.

So thank you demon duck man, you may have terrified old ladies but you made a bus full of people smile for a minute.

I’ve got less than 10 minutes to write this- so forgive typos

I have never been able to write my own name in the snow with my urine. I don’t have the kind of equipment that makes that easy for me. But just because it is not something i can do easily, I don’t deny that people can write their names in the snow.

I also have never been pulled over for driving while black. Actually, anytime someone has been pulled over while I’m in the car- they get off with a warning. That doesn’t mean that I don’t think black drivers get pulled over more often than whites. It means I listen to my black friends when they talk about their experiences and I believe that what they experience is real. i do not have to have known a situation to feel empathy for it.

So when I say that what I have experienced from Christianity is sexist and some guy goes out of his way to prove me wrong by twisting words, I wonder if he’s ever tried to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes- especially a pair of high heels?

Does being born homosexual really matter in the fight for equality, or is it a way of framing the argument so that homeobigots have one less arrow in their quiver of reasons to discriminate?

I don’t think it matters one bit whether you choose to be gay or are born gay. However I can see the powerful argument to be made if people are born gay, particularly against religion. If we are born innocent and without sin, and we are born gay, then we are following in the path that God chose and homosexuality cannot be a sin or unnatural. However, if we choose to be gay, then we can repent and become heterosexual through choice. (Remember- this is all coming from a mostly straight agnostic).

But what if we frame it differently. What if we frame it the same way we do religion. Religion is a choice, yet we have legal protections in place that prevent people from discriminating on the basis of religion. If you’re an employer you can’t fire all the protestants in your company because you’re an Irish Catholic with a grudge. States cannot set laws baring people from certain religions from marrying. Churches may bar them, but the churches DO NOT provide any legal protections for married people, only states do. (Polygamy is a whole different can of worms- marriage gives two adults permission to speak for each other in case of an emergency and equal responsibility for each other’s well being, in polygamy no clear chain of responsibility can be established fairly. A church may marry more than 2 people to each other, but only one marriage will be recognized as legal and will get the legal benefits of that union.) States can’t even bar two people of different religions from marrying.

DO NOT RUB EYES AFTER EATING SPICY CHICCARONES!

Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow.

You’ve been warned.

Just. Go. Read.

So I had to write a quick response paper on a video about porn. Since I am swamped with homework and cleaning, I thought I’d share it with you all (all 3 of you out there).

Remember, it’s a quick academic paper so there is no snark.

As a feminist, I am torn on the issue of pornography. On one hand I believe that anyone has the right to do whatever they wish with their own body provided it does not hurt another person. I also know that the only industries where women consistently make more money than men are sex work and modeling, and I am loath to take away that opportunity from someone when they may have no other opportunities to support themselves or their families. On the other hand, most women who work in the sex industry are treated atrociously and that treatment only seems to get worse as women in general acquire more sexual agency in the world. The more control women have in their own sexual choices, the more violent and degrading porn becomes towards women.

Porn is part of culture and a reaction to it. Every culture seems to have it’s own niche in the porn world. In America porn, gangbangs and violent blowjobs are common enough to make up the bulk of mainstream pornography. Female gratification rarely enters into the mix. In Latin America, porn often focuses on men performing oral sex on women, something that is rarely seen in American porn. The Latin idea of machismo may play into that by making female desire and orgasms taboo and therefore erotic. In America where women have more agency and female orgasms are (hopefully) a regular part of sex, porn pushes the limit by punishing women for having sexual agency. It is as if they are saying “you like having one penis- here have 12 and see how you like that”.

Porn is profitable, but it is only profitable when it provides something that people cannot get on their own. When sexual mores are such that only missionary penis in vagina intercourse is acceptable, profits will be made by having porn that includes oral sex and varying positions. Where women are considered to not like or want sex, women in porn will be sexually assertive “bad girls”. Where women are allowed to own their desire and expect mutual satisfaction, porn will punish women for being assertive. It is no more surprising to me that big business is involved in porn than it is that the robber barons of the early 1900’s made money off the opium trade. The difference now is that porn is as easy to get as checking your email, and that makes porn aesthetics much more prevalent in general society.

You can see the influence of porn in our current society by the prevalence of pubic hair removal in both men and women. What started as a way for porn movies to show more detail in close ups has become almost a requirement for women. They are now marketing waxing and hair removal kits to girls as young as 12, girls who hopefully have neither seen porn or had sex. Also profitable are clothing lines that claim to empower girls while they dress like porn stars and classes for girls in pole dancing (all marketed to children). The blowback from this has been “modesty” movements that seek to return girls to the status of being sexual gatekeepers with no sexual agency of their own. Neither of these situations is acceptable.

I aced my econ midterm. I made nice with my professors. I got a shit load of stuff done. I was also given a documentary about porn by one of my proffs to watch and write a response paper on over the weekend. Sweet.

Anyways, when I was in Mexico the Naughty Professor and I got a guilty little kick playing a game called “spot the racist advertising”. This is a game that will not disappointed my friends. For example…..For the non-Spanish speakers- the sign is supposed to say Precios Chinos, Precios Baratos (or Chinese prices, cheap prices) but instead they go for racism as humor and make fun of a Chinese Spanish speakers accent by replacing all the Rs with Ls. How very Jerry Lewis of them. (Picture is of a scoreboard for a Mexican baseball field- I cannot recommend Mexican baseball games enough. They have much better food).

But it gets better. Today I found an Italian version of a commercial I saw in Mexico that made me drop my jaw and say “Ningún usted no!” (Oh no you didn’t!)

Sorry for the crappy link to Youtube- there wasn’t an embed link and I am not as tech savvy as I like to pretend

Sitting in the hallway outside of the econ classes today were two young white women.

YWW1 :Did you read that thing for class?
YWW2: It’s not due till tomorrow.
YWW1: No, it’s totally due today.
YWW2: Fuck! What was it about?
YWW1: It’s about how white people are privileged and get all the stuff.
YWW2: Seriously, that’s like so so so biased! Oh my god!
YWW1: It’s even worse- it was written by a white woman.

I think this should alleviate some conservative fears about the indoctrination methods of the uber-liberal ivory tower. You can lead the privileged white girls to water- but you can’t make them think!