The big reason why I am a feminist is that no matter what particular oppression affliction you suffer from, that oppression is ALWAYS worse for women. We can;t fix racism or classism or bigotry or abelism if we don’t address the ways we continue to hurt women, here and there and everywhere.
It cannot be an either/ or fix. It must be all or nothing will ever change.
Someone is giving me grief in comments for my aural abuse of metro bus passengers in defense of my kid.
And it’s got me thinking.
First, I’m a girl (you peeps might have noticed) and as a girl I am often given grief for my colorful language. So anyone who wants me to shut up and take a shit sandwich with a grin pisses me off. Cussing actually has sociological value. In the work place, cuss words are used to bond employees together over shared sentiments. Which is why it’s a double whammy when women are belittled for using the same kind of language as men.
But beyond that is this idea that politeness trumps humanity. Now I am a big one for manners. Manners are the little social rules that make society function. We wait our turn in lines, cover our mouths when we cough, don’t spit on the sidewalks. These are behaviors we have because it makes things work better. They differ from culture to culture (in Spain line-cutting is the only way to ever get through a line). But a majority of people in a place will understand what those unwritten rules are and follow them.
However, we have taken the rules for politeness into the extreme of apathy. Much like the asshole in comments, who thinks it is better to let doochebags get away with humiliating children than to offend bus riders with a 30 second take down of said doochebag, we have let inaction become the glue that holds society apart.
And in this case, it was just a dooche picking on a kid. But in other situations, like say the woman who was raped on a train platform while the guard sat in the guard booth and watched, that inaction has caused real damage. What if someone had thrown a public tantrum at the rapist dude before he actually got to the rape point. What if he had been publicly humiliated for groping or even just ogling the woman? Might we have stopped a worse abuse? Might we have stopped some of the watchers from thinking that kind of behavior is ok.
When you humiliate people for treating others badly, you make it harder for people to treat others badly. When you stand up for people, you make it easier for others to stand up. When you sit quietly on a bus and ignore assholes, you make it that much easier for them to be assholes.
In short, when you treat people like human beings, other people will treat them as human too. This is why it’s important for men to be vocal feminist allies and for whites to support people of color and for straights to push for gay marriage.
In WWII in a village in France, the local Huguenot minister treated Jews as humans. He and his congregation hid them, fed them, and kept them safe from the Nazis. The Nazis, seeing Jews treated as human beings instead of vermin, warned the minister before raids were about to take place.
When you treat people as human beings, it makes it easier for other people to treat them as human too. When you call out bullshit and hurtful behavior, you make it easier for other people to call it out too.
Inaction is not really politeness. We have to stop seeing apathy as good manners. We have to start treating people as human beings so we all can be treated as human beings. Stand up, yell at assholes, make a fuss and humiliate those who would do harm.
Who likes jazz.
I’ve posted some Maria Rita videos before, but she is awesome and so i will do it again.
So I’ve been thinking about healthcare.
Like Anglachel, I worry when people start talking about “disadvantaged youths”. I worry especially when they talk about disadvantaged youths in the context of higher education. It often ends up being code for “shove them into programs that will continue to give them not enough to get a real education.
And even one of my favorite presidents was guilty of screwing the poor when it comes to education. Under Bill Clinton’s welfare reform, poor mothers could no longer receive welfare if they were in school to get an academic degree. If they wanted to get a certificate to be a home healthcare aid (about $8 an hour) they could stay on welfare while they did it. If they wanted to get a nursing degree ($21 an hour to start) then no welfare for them. Also no food stamps or medicaid. Vocational and certificate programs almost never provide the same kind of salary that an actual degree does. And vocational educations become outdated long before a BA or BS ever does.
So Obama has a plan to get disadvantaged kids college money in exchange for community service work. (I won’t even get into how we are facing high unemployment and that work might be better left to market rate pay scales for people who need to feed their families). What I wonder is why can’t we just do as all other civilized countries do and pay for people to go to college? Why is higher education not a universal like primary education is? Why do we send so many people into massive debt for something that is so vital for our country?
And I have to wonder, when we are desperate for engineers and doctors and nurses, how many of those positions could be filled if those disadvantaged youths were given the ability to go to college without also needing to juggle 3 part time jobs to pay for tuition and living expenses? Adding community service requirements doesn’t get them enough money to pay for school and living expenses. It just means that one of their jobs will be through the school. They will still have to supplement with waiting tables and lots of loans. And when they lose a job or the money comes up short, the first thing to go is college. When it’s a choice between taking a midterm or not getting fired from the job that keeps you from being homeless, you skip the midterm. And after a week of working 40 plus hours and taking 3 full time classes, there are simply not enough hours in the week for showering or sleep, let alone homework.
Yep- still moving out of the downstairs. Yep, still don’t have a bed. Yep, back still fucked up.
It must end sometime, right. Right?
In the mean time I think I shall become an alcoholic.
Bad manners and picking on my kid.
So last night when our extremely late bus finally showed up, the bus floor was drenched with water. And slippery. The kid got halfway back and fell hard. He hurt his back. It took him a really long time to be able to get up. Everyone on the bus was quiet.
Except the one asshole at the back. Who was laughing at a little kid getting hurt. My kid getting hurt. And not a little chuckle, but a big booming bwahahahahahahahahahaha that went on forever.
Mama Lion is not pleased.
So I looked up from helping the Kid up and said “You think it’s fucking funny picking on a little kid who just got hurt. Didn’t your momma teach you any fucking manners you asshole”
To which the doochebag responded with “didn’t yours teach you any”
“Yeah, she taught me to fucking stand up for my kid, asshole!”
At this point the dooche start muttering about how I am a “fat assed bitch”. Thank god for feminism. My fat ass- not something that is really going to hurt me. However, Dooche is a giant fat man. Not a big muscley man, but a big bellied, taking up 3 seats on the bus, fat man.
So I look back and say “It ain’t like you’re the skinniest thing at the back of the bus asshole.”
At this point one of doochebags friends says “Dude she’s mad and your being a dick. Shut up”.
When we got home and I finished telling the story to Ruth, I asked the Kid if he was embarrassed by my public display of rage. He said “Oh no, the guy was an asshole” (note that cuss words are earned in my family, last night the kid definitely earned one). Kid has always said that he “Loves watching my mom yell at people”. I figure it’s the best way I’ve got of teaching him to stand up for himself and for others.
being trotted out for cabinet posts.
And there are (surprise!) very few women on the list. Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius appears a couple of times (what- there is only one qualified woman?) There are 9 total, with 3 of them being possible EPA heads.
So a maximum of 6 positions for women. If they get them all.
We ain’t come that far yet, baby.
Now you may be wondering why would gender matter to say oh the Treasury department. See when you hire a fuckneck like Larry Summers, who thinks girls can’t do math, and therefore doesn’t staff the Treasury with an equitable number of women, issues like the feminization of poverty, the high rates of sub-prime mortgages pushed off onto single moms, ect. don’t get heard.
We make up half the country. We need to make sure that our voice is heard along with the booming male voices that normally drown out our smaller representation.
then Lawrence Summers is most certainly NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH TO BE PART OF THE CABINET.
Seriously, appointing him is one sure fire way to remind all us vagina voters why we thought Obama was an asshole.
So belly button gazing election postmortem:
1) It is not enough to support a party. For the first time in my life I did not vote for the straight dem ticket. You all know that I voted for McKinney for pres. What you don’t know is that I took to heart what I said about not supporting Dem men who profit from misogyny. So I voted for the pro-choice, pro-pot republican woman for our state’s lieutenant governor. While I will never vote for a woman simply because she has a vagina, I will choose to support any pro-choice woman over a dem dude. Note that I said pro-choice. I won’t vote against my own self interest simply because someone shares my gender (See Sarah Palin).
2) Votes are earned. Obama did not earn my vote. McCain could never have earned my vote. To all the Nader voters I bullied in 2000, I have already apologized. If Gore didn’t earn your vote, he didn’t earn it. To both the Obots and the McCainiacs (you know who you are) who spent the last 10 months bullying me and anyone else who wouldn’t share their delusions, kindly go fuck yourself.
3) There is a lot of work ahead of us. Obama+Pelosi+Reid means that progressive values are going to be shoved in the closet. Not if I can help it. We must be loud and unruly reminders that Republican policies failed this country over and over. We most not let the spirit of bi-partisanship squash the truth. Dissent is what makes democracy work. Not blind obedience to the party elite.
4) There is no voice speaking up for the poor and working class. The middle class is what we hear all about, but it is shrinking as more and more people join the bottom ranks. Obama don’t give a damn about poor people (to shamelessly steal from Kanye West) but we must make him see us.
So my little chickadees- what election wisdom have you gained? Anything profound to share with the class?