So medicaid sucks for dental, but this is what socialized medicine can
do. For at least the last 2 years I’ve been suffering from serious
fatigue and pain. I wake up and it’s like I’ve been beaten with a bag
of rocks before I even get out of bed. Doing anything, taking a
shower, grocery shopping, washing dishes etc was like climbing
everest. I have a family full of fibromyalgia sufferers. I thought
that all I would get was the hard side eye from doctors, or a Rx for
narcotics that would dull my brain. But I lucked out and my doc has
hit me with a multitude of minimal side effect treatments and a month
in I’m 75% better. I walked 2 miles today. I’m in a shit ton of pain
now, but 2 miles is like running a marathon compared to a month ago. 2
years of suffering with no insurance. One month with insurance and I
am a mostly productive person again. Go figure.(YMMV of course, but
I’m shocked as shit that the first round of treatment is working so
well. I’ve never seen that happen with fibro).

which is what the amount you get in food stams is.
I’m standing downtown in the rain, waiting for my bus. Homeless man
with his belongings in a black trash bag comes up and asks if he can
sell me a beer for a buck. He’s starving and doesn’t get more food
stamps All I’ve got is the money I need to get home and I’m out of
food stamps till the 8th. But Kid and I scored at the food bank and we
should be ok. Dude then goes on a rant that’s pretty familiar to me
about how the goddamned government is going to make him an alcoholic
cause they won’t give him enoung money to eat the whole month but he’s
been carting this fucking beer around and all he wants is dinner.
Goddamned government indeed.

someone has either taken off their shoes on the bus and has the
foulest smelling feet in history, or a small animal has died under the
seat after eating 12 pounds of goat cheese.

I just got out of the shower, put on the same Kiss My Face lotion that
I’ve used for ages, and suddenly my arms are burning hot, red and
itchy. I used all the same stuff on my legs and they’re fine. Good
lord do I want a cylon body so I can skip all this shit.

So it turned out that dream apartment was a craigslist scam. Fuckers.
But I go see another apartment tomorrow. I’m freaking out a lot. We’re
supposed to be out of our temp digs on April 5th. One week to find a
place and move and find beds and pay off electric bills and and and.
Good news is that I’ve managed to cobble together most of a kitchen
and a friend has a couch in his basement for us. It’s filthy with dust
from being used at burning man, but beggars, choosers, slipcovers etc.
And Aeryl got together a box of shirts for the kid including a Bob
Ross Happy Trees hoodie. We still need your happy thoughts, so keep
thinking them.

Renee at Womanist Musings has a great piece up called ‘Stop denying
white female privilege’. Remember my little kyriarchy prime, little
bits of privilege mix with little bits of oppression to make something
new. That’s an intersection. Also 2 (or more) oppressions can mix to
make something new. It’s like cooking. Oil and vinegar are 2 totally
disparate substances, but when you mix them together you have
dressing. So yes, white lady privilege ABSOLUTELY, UNEQUIVOCABLY
EXISTS. I lived for years as one of the few whites in a black
neighborhood and my neighbors and I All understood that if a person in
authority (like the cops) needed to be called, the best response
happened when it was my white lady presence talking to the authority.
When i got hassled by men on the street, my sole weapon was the
knowledge that if the police showed up I’d be believed because the
hasslers were always POC (not because POC are more likely to harrass
but because that was the neighborhood I was in.) That’s privilege.
Full stop.

I just submitted an application for a seriously awesome, affordable,
furnished 2 bedroom withall utilities including INTERNET paid.
Think happy thoughts, pray to whatever deity, rub whatever luck
dragon, budda belly, rabbit’s foot you’ve got. This could be a real
lucky break for us.

Both Geraldine Ferrero and Diane Wynn Jones died today. Ferraro was
the first woman to run for VP. Wynn Jones wrote Howl’s Moving Castle
along with numerous other amazing kid’s fantasy books.
suckage

Go to the NYTimes and search for No Mortgage Brokers Behind Bars, But
Borrower Is or something to that effect. It’s Nocera column if that
helps.
Isn’t it lovely how that dilligent agent dug and dug and dug till he
could prosecute a borrower? I know I feel safer knowing that as long
as there are enough zeros attached to the dollar amount that you
steal, you’ll be safe and sound. But your everyday mortgage holder
better watch what they say over cocktails.

So i have an awesome therapist who’s been hitting me hard with the
cognative behavioral stick. It’s a wee bit hokey, but it works. Last
week (after the perfect apartment debacle) she made me write and
repeat ‘I deserve good things to happen to me’. Today I went and saw
an appropriately priced place and Dickens could not have written a
slummier hole if he tried. Massive woodrot, security system that’s
been broke so long that tenants have faded notes up reading ‘ honk or
yell for apartment 5′, the floors were so uneven that I’m not sure if
it’s a structural issue or if the lumps were dead things under the
carpet. But this is what the social worker thinks is appropriate. So
how does that mesh with the therapist telling me that I deserve good
things? Someone’s view is scewed and I’m not sure whose.